A Mother's Day Letter to My Kids

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Dear all of you,

Last year I had a thought or impression, maybe. I felt like I wanted to send you guys a letter to tell you my thoughts about Mother's Day. Well the day, week, month and year came and went, and I never did. This year, same impression. This time I'm responding to that impression. 

My path to motherhood was slightly different than most. Four kids within a few weeks of being married and then 5 of my own. Mothering is hard work. And strangely, nobody bothers to actually tell you how hard it is. Mothering is also the most rewarding thing I can think of ever doing. 

I used to hate Mother's Day. It's not uncommon. Gather 20 mothers together, ask them to discuss mother's day and I would be willing to bet more than 1/2 of them hate it. The reasons vary. We are all different. 

I could drone on and list the reasons I "hated" mother's day. They were all selfish and self-pitying. Therefore, not worth mentioning. Those of you who are mothers have your own reasons, those who will be mothers will have yours. You dear husbands/fathers and soon to be husbands/fathers might be as good as mine and look at you and take you to task. Men, be sensitive while you are doing the taking to task. It's a difficult time for mothers, you know the mothering years. 

Well, one day the Lord gave me an epiphany. Maybe He gave it to me through Dad, but whatever. It changed my perspective. Now, maybe it didn't take hold right away, and maybe, just maybe (read 'probably') I still had a few pity-party mother's days, but in time, it honestly changed me. 

Expectation and perspective are everything and nothing. If I have expectations for a specific kind of Mother's Day (insert your own idyllic dreams here) and they don't come to fruition, I am sad, frustrated, angry, resentful, etc. Not a single Godly word there, huh? If my perspective is that Mother's Day is about people honoring me, and it isn't done "well enough" (seriously, who thinks like that? Me!) then I am full of self pity. It was/is ugly. Those are ugly emotions that turn into ugly behaviors. It has the potential to make everybody miserable. 

The epiphany I was given that day was that Mother's Day WAS about me, but in a different way that I thought. It was about MY role as a mother and the complete and full joy I get out of that sacred work. It was about loving you guys for giving me the opportunity to be a mother. I have done wonderful things as a mother. I have done terrible things as a mother. I have been fully engaged, and completely burned out. I have loved completely, and I have had to force daily tolerance. I have experienced profound joy, and overpowering heartbreak. I AM a mother. 

Mother's Day is for ME and it is for YOU. It is my day (like I can't do it every other day) to truly give thanks for the gift God gave me to be your mother. ALL OF YOU!! It provides me the opportunity to serve. It provides me the opportunity to learn the "ins" and "outs" of becoming a better person. I get to learn from you all every single day. Thank you. Thank you.

This Mother's Day (or a few days later) I want to thank you for your ongoing gift of being my children --  suffering with me and tolerating me and allowing me to be your mother. 

I love you all.

Mom/Steph

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